Finding a Caterer that Fits the Bill

The right caterer for your wedding or event is just as crucial as the right venue, and the clothes you wear. Your food selection determines how you'll word your invitations so guests know what to wear and what to expect. Life rotates naturally around food, and happy guests are those who have full belly's. It's really that simple.

What's not simple is knowing if the person catering your event is giving you a good deal, and giving you great service along with great food. That's three big things to cover, and just looking at someone's website isn't going to cut it. You've got to get out there, see them face to face, and have a tasting.

Here are some great tips for hiring a caterer:

1. Interview at least 2 different caterers. This means having a face to face and a tasting. Even if you have to pay for your tasting, trust me that it's worth it.

2. Get all the details. Your caterer is telling you it'll cost $20 a person, but what does that include? How much staff to waiter, is there a separate cork fee for the bartender? Do you even have a bartender? Most caterers charge by the slice to plate your cake, but some don't. So do they, and how much? What's their gratuity they add to your bill? Do they charge separately for beverages or is that part of the per person fee?

3. You also need a history of their company. How long have they been in business? What's the culinary history of their executive chef? Does the executive chef focus on just your event, or do they oversee multiple events a day? Is your food cooked on-site or off-sight and then reheated?

4. Very important - find out if your caterer is insured and what their insurance covers. It's not out of line to ask to look at their detailed coverage information.

5. A great think to know is if your caterer has ever worked at your venue before. If they haven't make sure they get a tour of the facility with a venue representative so no one has any bad surprises on the big day. This is something your event planner can help you with.

6. Get your prices broken down to the smallest detail, and don't forget delivery. You don't want a big surprise that's going to cost you a couple hundred dollars that you may not have the room for in your budget. Most caterers are very open about this.

7. Get a copy of their contract before you put money down. Take it home, look it over, get advice if you don't understand it, and before you sign, make sure you do!

8. Get references from other couples. You can ask the caterer for people to ask, and check out your online resources like Wedding Wire that let you rate and comment on service. Check with the Better Business Bureau too.

9. If you have a dream dish, ask your caterer if they'll make it. If they tell you "oh yeah, we make that all the time," ask to try a sample of their version - it may not taste anything like the way you like the dish made. Most caterers will take your own recipe and make that for you, but make sure!

10. Make sure for the day-of you've got contact information for the caterer's office, the chef in charge at your venue, and that they've got your information too. If something happens, your event planner can then easily reach them and get a solution in the works.

There's a lot that goes into your wedding or event, and you want to make sure you and your guests have a wonderful time. Great food is one sure way to do that.

Happy planning,
Rebekah Ross
Weddings and Events

Choosing Your Attendants - The Worst Case Scenario Handbook

When it comes to choosing her attendants and officially saying "Susie, you're my maid of honor, the rest of you are brides maids," a lot of brides get very anxious, and some just don't event want to go there.

Too bad! Let's rip the band-aid right off, and I'll give you tips to make it clearer and easier.

There's no concrete rule out there that says your best friend from childhood or your sister has to be your maid of honor. And there's no rule that your maid of honor has to be single, or even a woman. Yes, there's lots of tradition and romance movies to back up these crazy stigmas, but look lady, this is your wedding day. Do what you want!

Band-aid off yet?

So a little history for ya. Years and years ago when bridesmaids were first made popular, they served two purposes. The first was so that if someone tried to ride in on a horse and steal the bride, he or she would be confused by the many ladies dressed alike, and the bride would be safe. Phew! The second purpose, and this is real 'chicken or the egg' stuff, was that in case the bride (or the groom, as this served the same purpose for the groomsmen) was unable to marry (or unwilling), everybody just moved over one step to the left (or right) and boom, insta-couple, lets get this wedding going. Why, you ask? During this time, most marriages were arranged to serve political or commercial needs. The attendants, both male and female, were recognized as appropriate replacements. Should the bride run off with the stable boy, the maid of honor married the groom and the bride's father and the groom's father could still go into business together.

Ok, history lesson over, lets get back to your problem. Some brides are lucky and know exactly who's their maid of honor and bridesmaids, and no one's feelings are getting hurt by the choice. But...most girls want to be the maid of honor. They see this as a big competition as to who's a better friend to the bride, or some other popularity contest.

So what to say to the gals not chosen for the 'of honor' position, but are still bridesmaids? First, make it a one-on-one conversation. No one likes to be embarrassed in public, so do this in a place you will both be comfortable. Sitting in the park sipping Starbucks together is a great local - it's even territory. When you're with your gal-pal, start out with the good news (if she doesn't already know). And then ask, in a nice way, for her (or him) to be a bridesmaid. And phrase it well. For example:

"Carol, this is a very special day I'll remember for the rest of my life, and it would mean the world to me if you were a part of it as my bridesmaid."

Notice I didn't say "a bridesmaid" or "one of my bridesmaids". This is a sneaky way of subconsciously letting her (or him) know that she (or he) is one of a kind. Yes, you're one bridesmaid in a group of 2 or more, but you're there for me as an individual. This is the good stuff you're stressing here.

Now, this is usually the point that about 70% of gal-pals get uber excited, give you a hug, and say "oh I'd love to! let's start planning!". Great! You've passed the stressful moment and everyone's in a good mood. For now.

The other 30% of gal-pals have a less gushing response. Some go straight for the throat - "well who's your maid of honor?" Don't panic! I'll get you through this.

A great answer you can give her is "Mary's my maid of honor. I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings because I need you there on my wedding day."

Ahh, tricky me! Phrasing your answer like this gives you a couple of things. First, you've been honest. You straight out said "Mary's my maid of honor". Good for you. The second sentence also sets you up in two ways, first, you're apologizing without apologizing, and you're throwing a little guilt in there too. At this point, most gals cave, reassure you that they're happy for you and not hurt, and off we go on the happy planning discussion.

But then...some gals won't let go. Are you ready?

If your friend at this point really starts to get upset or angry with you for not having the coveted role, you need to remember to stay calm and don't start fighting. This is someone you want standing with you as you get married and you don't need any bad karma.

At this point, you've got some limited options. One of the best things is to give your friend some breathing room.

"Carol, you're very important to me, and I want to have you there with me. I don't want you to do something you don't want to do, so I want to give you some time to think about being my bridesmaid. I'm sorry I've hurt your feelings, you're my friend and that's the last thing I want to do. Please call/email/visit me when you've made up your mind."

Then grab your drink and walk away. Most ladies will calm down, you'll reconcile, and all is good. The key here is not to make excuses ("Mary's better at planning parties"). And remember, her feelings are hurt, so be nice.

Now, let's cover the "who to choose". Like I earlier stated, there's no rule for who is supposed to be an attendant. For example, my fiance's best man is the woman who introduced us. She's wearing a tux and everything. Why did he make that choice? Because this woman is a dear friend, and because she was the one that introduced us he felt it gave great meaning to have her stand beside him.

Don't feel obligated to choose one person over another. If your friend you met last year has become your best friend, it's ok to choose him or her over your sibling. It's not a "I knew them first". It really comes down to this: when you're looking at your wedding pictures 30 years from now, who do you want to see standing with you? This is one of the biggest days of your life, make your choice out of love, and it'll be the right one.

Happy planning,
Rebekah Ross
Weddings and Events

An Interview with Sharlane Chase of Urban Unveiled

I recently sat down with Sharlane Chase, one of the founding members of Seattle's hottest wedding show 'Urban Unveiled'.

Sharlane and I met at her house, a cute little home in north Seattle. Stepping in, I thought I was in Hotel 1000 or something - the decor throughout was tasteful, modern, and oh so cute. Over a cup of tea and fresh madelines we talked about 'Urban Unveiled'.

Rebekah: Sharlane, tell me about 'Urban Unveiled'.

Sharlane: 'Urban Unveiled' is a cocktail party that partners all the vendors together, giving everyone a hand in planning the event, that we present to brides and grooms. Couples come to our event to have fun, meet the best wedding vendors in Seattle, and get great ideas for their wedding. All the vendors are pre-screened. The venue we hold this at is decorated with the latest ideas, not the old stand by's. It's great food, an incredible fashion show, and talking with all-around great vendors. These are people who are great innovators and good people to work with.

Rebekah: How long have you been doing 'Urban Unveiled'?

Sharlane: Our very first event was in March of 2007. We had two last year in February and October, and we've decided to have our third event this October, and we'll keep it a fall event here on out.

Rebekah: What type of bride comes to 'Urban Unveiled'?

Sharlane: The tickets aren't cheap, $45 at the door and $75 for our VIP tickets. The bride who comes to this event is someone who expects she'll have to pay for good quality. She's hiring the best of Seattle. Regardless of the budget, she wants something extra special. Mainly, we attract brides that are shopping for quality.

Rebekah: How long is this event?

Sharlane: It's a one-day event. We start out with a VIP hour where VIP guests have exclusive time with the vendors, really get some great one-on-one time. At 6 we have general admission, and we go until 10. We average about 550 guests, and expect 750 this year.

Rebekah: What's your theme this year?

Sharlane: Well...we're still debating. I'd love to revisit the Marie Antoinette theme, but I think we'll end up doing South Beach Urban Chic.

Rebekah: You mentioned VIP tickets and a VIP hour. What's the whole VIP package?

Sharlane: In addition to early admittance, we also supply VIP guests with butler valet marking, and an incredible swag bag. Last year's swag bag had cake plates, wine, earrings, lots of good stuff. It's totally worth getting a VIP ticket.

Rebekah: Is this event catered?

Sharlane: Oh yes! This year Tom Douglas is catering. Last year we had three caterers, including Wolfgang Puck.

Rebekah: You say "we" a lot. Who makes up the "we"?

Sharlane: At the heart of everything is the group of us that started this and spearhead the event every year: me, Sharlane Chase Photography, and Jessie and Travis of True Colors Events.

Rebekah: Overall, how many vendors do you have at the event?

Sharlane: About 50. We try to limit the number of folks in each category to 4 businesses.

Rebekah: And how can we all get tickets to this incredible event?

Sharlane: Tickets go on sale in September, and we sell out fast. Keep an eye on our website for the latest info on ticket sales.

For more information on Sharlane Chase and her photography business, check out her website. For more information on 'Urban Unveiled', check out their website.

And enjoy these wonderful pictures from previous 'Urban Unveiled' wedding shows.



Happy planning!
Rebekah Ross
Weddings and Events

Finding the Perfect Venue

Over the weekend I attended a beautiful wedding at the Golden Gardens Bathhouse in Seattle. Golden Gardens Park is a beautiful setting, right on the water, with sandy beaches and limitless sunshine on a day as lovely as Saturday was. The couple had a unique theme of vintage carnival games, with "pin the veil on the bride" and other fun games for both kids and adults. The venue was perfect for the theme, with aged brick walls and an open beamed ceiling. In any other space, the decorations and theme wouldn't have worked. It was the great melding of everything together that made it so fun and successful.

Finding the venue that's right for your wedding is the same thing as a sculptor finding the right piece of marble for a statue. The very first impression your guests receive of your wedding is the invitation, followed by the venue. The invitation gives them an impression of what to expect, and the venue is the first thing they see of the wedding itself.

So what do you need to look for when venue shopping? First, before you even get in the car, sit down and think about what you're looking for in a venue. Do you want it to be able to have both indoor and outdoor activities? Do you want it in a park? Do you want lots of privacy? Do you want it to have a room you can stay in your first night? What about the view? Most importantly - what's your budget? Remember that you'll have to pay taxes on your rental, so give your budget the wiggle room for that.

Write down everything that's important, but are also transferrable. Writing down "a venue with a kitchen attached directly to the main room" is going to limit what's out there.

When you do get out to look at places, keep your budget and your vision in mind. What will need to be brought in? What does the venue supply with the rental fee (like tables, chairs, and a sound system)? Will it comfortably seat all your guests? Is it relatively easy to get to? Do they have a caterer on site you have to use or can you bring in anyone? If they have exclusive caterers, do you have a minimum you have to spend?

Ask every question you can think of. And bring your planner with you - they'll be able to think of questions you wouldn't have even thought was important (like spill-over parking for guests).

Bring with you a kit to both remember the aspects of the venue and capture ideas that spark you while you're there. A camera, a sketch pad, a calculator, and a pocket measuring tape will come in more handy than you'd think.

After you've found the right place, you'll need to put down your deposit and sign the contract. Read the contract thoroughly. Don't just assume they'll supply staff to help with clean-up, if your tour-guide mentions it, make sure it's written in the contract. If it's not covered in writing, assume it's not going to happen. Make sure you get a copy of the contract right then and there to keep for your records - this is something your planner will need on hand at the wedding should something go wrong.

Give yourself some options, and keep your mind open. You can often find a venue that fits the bill in a place you didn't expect to look. Utilize your planner's knowledge of the area, and check out what bloggers in your city are saying about places they've visited. It doesn't have to be "Bridal Wars" to get the perfect venue - so be patient, be educated, and have fun.

Happy planning!
Rebekah Ross
Platinum Weddings and Events

A note for planners - current scam to avoid

Hello fellow planners. For the past week and a half I have been trying to help a nice couple from England, now living in Haiti, who are moving to Seattle, plan their wedding. As the emails progressed, red flags were going off in my head, but I just kept them thoughfully in mind as I continued our corespondence. But my red flags became flashing red billboards when the couple asked me to transfer over $2,000 to their band in South Africa, with the check in my name. Hello! So I googled the band contact's name and got nothing. Then I googled the way the bride kept describing the band, "french coupe de calien band", and I found a blog post from another wedding planner in Oregon who received emails with the exact same wording and everything.

I spoke with the FBI, and this is apparently a scam that's been going on for a couple years. The couple's names and small details change, but the gist of it is that they want you to help "secure their band" by sending you a very large check in your name. Scam is that the band get the money, and you get stuck with the bill once the check bounces.

Please take a look at the Oregon planner's post as she includes the emails she received. Just remember, planners, to protect yourself do these two things: 1. make clear the bride is repsonsible for all her bills and you are not to disperse money for her, and 2. if someone wants you to transfer money for them, don't!

If you receive such emails, or start getting into the planning and discover you're part of this same fraud scam, print your emails out and send them to your local FBI office. If you're unsure if this is a separate scam, just give them a call, they're very nice.

Good luck, and happy planning.
Rebekah

Fashionable Colors for 2009

Pantone, the world authority in color, releases the colors of the season for everyone from fashion designers to wedding planners to anticipate what's hot. And right here, in this blog, is the only release on the full spring and fall colors for 2009 (as far as I could find, and I looked!).

The colors for this spring are lovely. The eight colors are: fuchsia red, salmon rose, palace blue, lucite green, super lemon, dark citron, lavender, vibrant green, slate gray, and rose dust.



Lovely! And for you fall brides out there, the colors for this fall are: American beauty, purple heart, honey yellow, iron, burnt sienna, nomad, rapture rose, warm olive, majolica blue, and creme brulee.



Ok, now you've seen the colors, and I bet you're saying to yourself, "self, what do I do with these colors?" First, start playing with them! Websites like Polyvore and More Alive with Color let you play around with color combinations and start making inspiration boards for your wedding. These boards come in great when you're meeting with your wedding planner, rental company, invitation company, florist - everybody. So grab your magazines and scissors or hunt the web, and make a wedding that fits your color scheme.

A couple ways to use these colors include monotones (or analogous tones) based on one or two shades, and using complementary colors (colors opposite of each other on the color wheel). What's a color wheel?

This is...


So get out there and start playing around. Get your fiance involved, and you'll find your fashion style will come out as well as you start putting things together on your color board. To get you going, here's my own color board using spring's hottest colors!


Green Wedding - Color for Spring 09 by bekahross on Polyvore.com


Happy Planning,
Rebekah Ross
Platinum Weddings and Events

You're Engaged! Now What?

Congratulations, you're engaged! Now what?

Today's blog post is geared towards the recently engaged and those just beginning to plan their wedding. You've recently become engaged, you now have a stack of bridal magazines in front of you, and your eyes are swimming with images of lace, candles, and dream destinations. But take a step back and a deep breath - I've got a reality check for you.

The average wedding today costs around $25,000. Yep, you heard me right! When you look at all the details, big and small, they add up fast, so here's the first steps for you:

Very first, you need to have the money talk with your honey. I covered the money talk in detail late last year, so check that blog out for more detail.

Second, you need to talk with your families (parents) about their ability to help out with your wedding. Keep in mind you're going to them asking them for money, so be nice about it, and impress them with notes from your earlier money talk. And if they don't have much to give, be appreciative - it's more than most couples get.

Now a quick interjection. I know some of you are thinking about wedding loans. I'm not a financial adviser, so I don't offer any professional opinion in that sense, but here's a couple quick things to consider when visions of loans to create a big fancy wedding dance in your head - do you really want to be starting a marriage with a big loan? And a big loan that's not for a house, too? It's ultimately your own decision to make, so do your research and make it an educated decision.

Ok, back to the fun stuff. So you've had your money talks, and you've narrowed down where the money's coming from to help you with your wedding. Next step - making your budget. This is where things start to get fun (well, for me at least). This is where you start coming down to these detailed little delineations that, once set, let you go crazy fun finding the best deal for your money. A lot of brides today don't know what all goes into a wedding budget - and that's why I'm here!

The key to a great bridal budget is getting firm limits on what each section of the budget are, and then spending less. There's nothing more exciting than working a budget, finding out you've got wiggle room after every thing is ordered and signed, and you can do a fun little splurge for yourself or your guests you didn't think you could afford.

Roughly, here's how the budget breaks down:

Ceremony (officiant, license, location,ring pillows, decor) 3%
Reception (food, drink, location, cake, decor, favors) 48%
Attire (dress, veil, under bits, jewelry, hair, makeup, tux, shoes, tie, etc) 10%
Rings (wedding bands) 3%
Flowers (for decor, for bridal party, flower girl, parents) 8%
Music (ceremony, reception, and sound system rentals) 8%
Photography and Videography (all fees, disks, albums, prints, disposables) 12%
Transportation (for self and/or guests before and after wedding) 2%
Stationary (invitations, thank you cards, postage, guest book, etc) 3%
Gifts (for attendants, parents, bags for out-of-town guests) 3%

Got that? Now, here's where we can change things, if something you just read you don't like. This is where a questionnaire from your wedding planner helps you decide how to play with the budget. Feel free to email me (info@rebekahross.com) if you'd like a copy of the one I give my couples.

Questionnaires cover basics like - looking at everything you're doing and buying, what are the most important things to you? How would you like to remember your wedding, and how would you like your guests to remember your wedding? Based on how you both (and individually) answer these questions, you can play with the percentages to come up with a budget that reflects you both and what you really want to get out of your wedding. You now know, when you're meeting with locations and vendors, what works with your budget and what won't, and where a little inventiveness can save you bundles.

So good luck! And to show a beautiful example of what a $25,000 wedding gets you in a dress, a selection of gown from Alfred Angelo Bridal (swoon!) all within the above budget.